The loneliness and the imaginary characters we created

People say you should do whatever art form you enjoy – it can be singing, drawing, speaking, capturing moments with cameras or any other device, writing, and so on. 

That\’s not intended to obtain fame and money, but for becoming who you are inside, who you want to be, or who you like to be.

I try to write my feelings and thoughts. However, language becomes a barrier because of marginalization. After all, if you want to write something, your language at least needs to have a written script(Lipi).

My mother tongue doesn\’t have a script. So, I look into a language considered my mother tongue, but it doesn\’t have an audience who can understand my feelings. 

Therefore, I choose a universal language – but another problem pops up: I can\’t use it properly because I didn\’t learn it from childhood. Not only my parents, but even everyone in my village, doesn\’t know how to understand this language.

But I didn’t give up. I understood and learnt this language in my own style and wrote my feelings. 

However, I gradually noticed that becoming a writer isn\’t just about writing everything in your mind, but about understanding everything. Listening to people while they speak. Seeing what is inside them. 

When I was a writer, I didn\’t write much, but I listened to a lot of daily feelings of people, traumas, success stories, saddest experiences, and unfulfilled hopes. People came to me and tried to talk to me, which gave them relief.

Speaking or sharing emotions with others is very important for human happiness.

I am living in an urban region for my work purpose , so every day I walk to the museum to exercise. When I was at my home town – I used to go to the beach to exercise but life will not always be the same, especially when we take a different path compared to others\’ plans. But one similar thing I noticed at both the beach and the museum grounds is groups of men around 50 years old sharing stories and critiquing everything. 

The persons they discussed and incidents they shared were different but they all were the same people always. 

They select a popular person or a thing to criticize together. They feel safety and friendship while they throw stones at a thing or person not present there. Women is another important topic. It always starts with the most sexy women they all know – but when someone accidently remembers about the women in their home the topic slightly changes towards the safety of the women in the society. Then it gradually came to a popular conclusion that women should be more careful and responsible otherwise nothing would have happened to them. 

But they do have some approaching differences while speaking about politics. People on the beaches always speak conscious opinions. They naturally put vulnerable people first and speak for them. They are free people so they know what justice is. Meanwhile the urban people always put themselves first –  they speak for their benefits even though it affects the vulnerable people. And they justify – there is no pain , no gain for the society. But in reality they get all the gain , the vulnerable people take all the pain. 

Anyway we can come to the process of this group talking. People need people – in literature we can see how people struggle when they are trapped in a place where no human beings exist. They somehow managed to find food for their survival but when it comes to sharing feelings – the atmosphere changes. Most of the time people try to cheat themselves by making them believe an imaginary character is with them and listening to them.

My head spins when I try to think about the difference between texting/calling/video calling and creating imaginary characters. What if they\’re the same?